“ATTENTION: IF YOU SCHEDULE AN APPOINTMENT WITH ME AND DO NOT SHOW UP I WILL PUT YOU ON THE NATIONAL BLACK LIST AS WELL AS FLAG YOUR PHONE NUMBERS. FEEL FREE TO GOOGLE NATIONAL BLACK LIST. ONCE SOMEONE ADDS YOU, YOU WILL BE THERE FOREVER. ANYONE THAT GOOGLES YOUR NAME AND/OR NUMBER WILL SEE THAT YOU ARE IN FACT A DOUCHE BAG. TRUST ME IT IS NOT WORTH IT. ”
*** I DO NOT OFFER FULL SERVICE SO PLEASE DO NOT ASK. ( I do not care how much you offer me, it is NOT gonna happen!) Also, please DO NOT ask me inappropriate questions via text or over the phone. A.) I will NOT answer them. B.) I will flag your phone # and I will likely never answer your call. (FYI~inappropriate conversation is any conversation that you must lock yourself in a private room to have.)
** I always ask that you call me once you park to let me know you have arrived. (every single time please) I will let you know once it is ok to come up to my office. (This is to avoid clients meeting in the hallway and the possibility of bumping into your father in law or your kids bff's Dad. Thank you for understanding.)
*** PLEASE do NOT wear cologne to your session. I do not want to end up smelling like your cologne for the rest of the day. I do not wear perfume so you don't smell like a flower for the rest of your day.. We have all experienced the scenario where you can still smell a person long after they have left the room.. Please dont be one of them.. Thank you for understanding...
1. Hygiene is my TOP priority. Please shower before your appointment. (Showering at 7am for your 4pm appointment does not count!)
2. Discussion of money or services will NOT be tolerated. My fees are clearly stated and there is no need to discuss upgrades because I DO NOT offer anything more.
3. If possible, please turn your cell phone on silent during our session. You are here to relax. It is difficult to acheive a state of relaxation with your phone ringing in the background.
4. Please leave your donation on the table upon arrival so I know what session you would like.
5. Please respect my boundaries. It is NEVER ok to grope or grab me. (or ANY provider for that matter.)
6. Always speak to me using discrete, proper and respectful language. I am a lady and I expect to be treated with respect. I have very high standards and I will ONLY see respectful discrete clients.
7. I like to be discrete and I expect that you like to be discrete as well. When coming to my location, please do not draw attention to yourself by wandering around aimlessly. If you need help finding me, just CALL, I will be happy to direct you to my door.
8. My time is valuable as is yours. I understand "shit happens". If you are going to be late, please inform me by calling me BEFORE you are late or I may assume you are a "No Show" and schedule someone in your place.
9. I know there are many "review" sites out there. Please keep in mind that only half of what you see and nearly all of what you read is likely not true. I prefer NOT to be reviewed, because quite frankly, I find the clients who frequent those sites (often called "Hobbyists" ) are undesirable PITA (pain in the ass) clients. Furthermore, what a provider allows one client may not be what he/she allows everyone. And lastly, if you share with the world what "perks" your therapist allows you, she may discontinue your special treatment all together.
10. We are both here for a reason, lets relax and enjoy our time together and leave the worries of the world behind.
***Yes, yes, I DO have high standards. The clients I prefer to see appreciate this about me and I of them. All of my expectations are for our combined safety, comfort and wellbeing.
Thank you so much for visiting my site. If you have any questions feel free to call or text. I will get back to you as soon as I am able. I appreciate your business and very much look forward to spending quality time with you. Sincerely, Kimberly
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